Can’t Find Her

If you ask me to show emotion

I’ll laugh in your face

I’ll turn cold and let go

Run as fast as I can

Until you can’t find me anymore.

*

I left all my love

On a street corner

At half past 6 in the morning

As I watched you drive by

On the edge of greatness and sorrow

With little regret or remorse

I felt my heart shudder

As you walked out the door.

*

I cried all day

Drank all night

Got out of bed

Glimpsed as your shadow walked by

From the bathroom

To the room and back

Pacing and waiting

Without a word

Without a sigh.

*

Meditated

Thought out

You knew you were leaving

Before you turned the door knob

And headed down

Two flights of stairs.

*

That’s when it all came

The first sign of pouring rain

All over my body and soul

Until I couldn’t feel it anymore

That’s when I let go

Of everything I couldn’t hold.

*

So if you ask me again

To cry for you

I’ll laugh at you

To be with you

I’ll run from you

To love with you

I’ll hide from you

Until you can’t find me anymore.


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