Shot of Espresso

“You used to be my cup of tea… I drink coffee now.”

 

I don’t know what I want

But I don’t want you

But you need me

 

Yet, I have you

And you have me

You’re what I’ve always wanted

Over the years

We’ve seen each other grow

And grew together

Or at least I thought

At least I knew I did

Now here we are

Where we’ve always wanted to be

But am I happy?

What is happy

Is it with you and me?

 

It’s crazy how you could want someone for so long and then have them, only to realize he’s not what you wanted at all.

 

*Poet Reflection*

This poem reflects the overwhelming emotional doubt felt while in a relationship you’ve fought so hard to be in, that you thought was right and needed to happen to fulfill yourself. But then, you grew up and the years passed, things changed and you grew up. You learned more, and sought out more from the world. So the things you thought you needed to be happy weren’t your happiness anymore. You were evolving as a person, as a woman and your wants and needs  became more complex and in need of intellectual stimulation and motivational presence. You realized that to be whole, you needed to find who you were first. But you had committed yourself to what you thought was a fulfilling relationship in which turned to a parasitic experience where you couldn’t let go without killing the past. Yet, you still knew with every death blooms a new metamorphosis, a new awakening with new eyes and a new meaning for life. 

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