Free Soul

From a distance, I observed. I. Watched. You. Encompass my world just by entering it. I watched as your words, thought out, circled, around me and held on as if to guide me to discover a new layer within. The thoughts of your presence trickle back to me and stimulate my mind again, as if, to re-anchor me back to the emotions I felt when you were beside me. You spoke words, encouraged by love, encouraging me to share and indulge into a depth I couldn’t understand. I began to see you, as a reflection of me. A reflection of who I wanted to be, all along. I was surprised, shocked, and taken aback by you. I fell in love with what you represented to me. Of life, of knowledge, of reflection, of meditation. I wanted to know more and more. I wanted to experience everything you had to offer, so I can enjoy them and learn from them. We spent every waking moment together and if those moments could be carved into stone, I would fill a cemetery with only the pauses that filled between those moments. You were the one who, saved…me. When I didn’t want to be saved, when I was in denial of my internal rage. You faced the mirror back at me, forcing me to come to terms and face reality of who I was -and what I was becoming. And even though you had your own agenda, I didn’t care. I was, well aware of the temperance of the matter. And that made me rush more into it. Dive as far as I could. Reach as far into you as I could, for my own self-gain; for my own self-inflicted pain. I wanted, no, needed it. And if I could experience you again, I wouldn’t change a thing but maybe hold you longer during that last goodbye.

I can’t put into words what exactly you are to me because you don’t belong to me. But you are the only person who has came and gone, physically, but has impacted my being in the most beautiful way. What and where I am is my own doing, but the experience of what has led me to where I want to be, who I want to be. You. And I don’t need the confirmation of knowing this; nor do I need validation of once these thoughts hit the paper, you will see them. You are my everything in that you are my nothing. The best teacher in that you have taught me all that I’ve already known but have ignored. Inspiring me to inspire myself to be true. To be me, wholeheartedly. My soulmate, just passing through. Giving me, equipping me, with all that I need and then leaving me to be free.

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